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Compassionate Communication

Are you tired of fighting with your partner? Do you feel disconnected from your partner and lonely even when you are together?  Are there unresolved conflicts that seem to keep coming up so you're stuck in a pattern of fighting about the same few things and never making a decision? Does it feel like your partner just doesn't understand where you are coming from most of the time?

You want to improve your relationship with your partner. However, you are lacking the communication skills to do so. The fighting is getting you nowhere. You feel stuck in a pattern of not talking to your partner about how you feel. It feels like your partner doesn't understand you.  In fact, sometimes it doesn't feel worth it to even try.  You would give anything just to feel heard, seen and respected in your relationship.  To really know that your partner "gets it" and to feel like a team.


You know communication in relationships is vital. You want to communicate with your partner better, but aren’t sure how to make the changes you need.  The truth is that many problems in a relationship can be solved by better communication skills.  But we aren't born with the ability to communicate with one another, and some of us learn unhealthy patterns by watching our parents interact.

At the Center for Relational Transformation, we have developed a specific form of communication that we teach couples. Through years of couples counseling, we've seen what works.  Our therapists will help you learn a new, more effective way of communicating with your partner.  When you and your partner learn how to focus first on connecting with one another, express your needs effectively and solve problems together you'll find new meaning in your relationship.  Outside stressors that used to threaten to tear your relationship apart now bring you closer to one another.

Signs You Could Improve Communication Skills in Your Relationship

The pain is real. You’re hurting but you don’t know how to tell them. You keep it all inside until one day it explodes into a massive argument. You know you could have avoided a blow up, but aren't sure how.


Many couples struggle with communication skills. Often people feel disconnected from their partner and don’t talk. Some couples find themselves arguing. They find themselves wondering how to navigate life when it is one conflict after another.


It's as if everything you say is lost in translation with your partner. You are trying to communicate with them, but they don’t seem to hear anything you’re saying. Oftentimes, you feel hurt and alone when they don’t get what you’re trying to tell them.


You don’t have to struggle with communication in your relationships. Couples and marriage therapy helps you learn the communication skills you need. Our couples therapists work with couples to improve their communication skills in our downtown Chicago office.

How Compassionate Communication Works

We have a unique approach to helping couples improve their communication skills that we call compassionate communication.  Our couples' therapists will help you learn how to hear what your partner is saying and to feel heard in return. We help couples move past defensiveness and on to more effective ways to interact.


We want you and your partner to leave even your first session with us with useful new ways of communicating. Through couples counseling sessions, you and your partner will learn to tune in to your own emotions and then express them in a way that doesn't leave your partner feeling attacked. You'll have a nonjudgmental, loving but effective way to share your feelings with one another.  At the same time, your partner will work on hearing what you are actually saying. 

Our goal is to help reduce defensiveness in your relationship and open up the lines of communication so you both feel safe talking about even difficult subjects. Through improving your communication, you will feel cared for and be able to express genuine love, support, and affection for your partner as well.

The Three Stages of Compassionate Communication for Couples:



Together we will work to help you connect as a couple. We will take the time to move from fighting to listening. This first step is really about  focusing on showing that you care for one another. When you both feel valued and cared for, there is less tension in the relationship and arguments are de-escalated. This space makes your relationship a safe space to open up and be vulnerable.


Express Needs


Once your relationship is seen as a safe, caring space, it's time to express your needs.  In couples counseling sessions, we will talk about how you can communicate your own needs effectively.  We'll also discuss how to actively listen to the needs of your partner so you can react in a supportive, nonjudgmental way.  By learning to deeply understand what both partners need, you can begin looking for solutions together.


Solving Problems Together


When you fully understand what each partner needs, it's time to start solving problems. You'll learn to work together to solve problems as they come up in a way to leaves both people feeling good about the decision.


A couples and marriage counselor is not someone who gives solutions or helps determine a "winner" in arguments. They are someone who serves as a guide and teacher.  Your couples therapist can help you learn to find solutions together.  The goal isn't just to solve current issues in your relationship. Rather, the goal is to help you and your partner approach conflict in an entirely new way so you can solve issues together for years to come.

Begin Couples and Marriage Counseling in Chicago, IL

Learning better communication skills will change how you relate to your partner. Difficulties will begin to bring you together instead of separate you. You will find ways to resolve your problems as a team instead of letting them grow.


To begin improving your communication skills:


  1. Contact us online

  2. Hear back from a therapist within 24 hours (except for Sundays)

  3. Learn how the communication in your relationship can improve!

Other Services At the Center for Relational Transformation

In our downtown Chicago counseling office, we help clients improve their communication skills. Through premarital counselingcouples counseling, and marriage therapy we help create relationships that will stand the test of time. If you have experienced infidelity, we also offer affair recovery counseling. Our skilled therapists also support clients through individual therapy including anxiety treatment and depression counseling. You don’t have to figure this out on your own. Contact us today to begin finding hope again!

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